Waiting to Receive Happiness, Wanting to Have Love
By Brian Chapman <firstname.lastname@example.org>
April 19, 2005
People aren't happy. We find ourselves waiting. Waiting for
that something to come along that is going to make us happy. For some, it's
seems to be more money. With more money one can buy all those things one
wants. Most of us see the error in that. We see an appetite that will never
be satisfied. We want, instead, that which money will not buy. We want that
special someone. That person that is going to make life worth living. The
only problem is that, for some reason, that someone seems nearly impossible
Is it that our standards are too high? Is it that we were born a century
too early or too late? Is it that the World has become such a broken mess
that no one could possibly find something whole and unbroken in it anymore?
Many people want the PERFECT person. That person that comes with the same
dreams and ambitions that match your own. He/She is going to love us in
just the way we need to be loved. He/She is going to be our best friend.
He/She is going to say and do all the things we want them to and be everything
we need them to be. Making our life the life we so desperately want to live.
Be truthful with yourself. You know what you want. You want companionship.
In an otherwise city of millions, you want not to be lonely. In a life of
smiling faces, you want not to be wearing the same as a mask to keep that
miserable feeling of loneliness from public display.
We know deep down that such a thing as the perfect person doesn't exist.
Why then do we still WANT it so bad? To cure us of that miserable lonely
feeling in our gut. In moments of self-honesty we see that such a dream
is fantasy and it makes us wonder what the purpose of living could possibly
be. If we cant have love, why live?
I submit there are two problems that are capital in this dire situation.
One is a simple observation that I believe many overlook and herein the
other lies a new view of reality that many people do not see; even there
are those who think they do, I believe they do not.
The first is to understand the Law of Change. Understand, things change.
People change. Mitigating circumstances ALWAYS dictate realities. Someone
who claims to have an interest or goal that is not inline with yours does
NOT mean that the person will be more happy pursuing it than having a life
with you. This takes self-confidence and faith in relations. Many people
will uproot their lives to pursue that special relationship with someone
they may well have never imagined themselves being with. Love can change
people quite profoundly. It can alter their taste in music, movies, social
environments, foods, locales, and all sorts of Life's various facets.
As an example, some time ago you might say I liked mindless movies of mayhem
like any other guy my age. Let's say specifically, horror movies. And once
upon a time I had a girlfriend. She did not like those movies. The things
that went on in them bothered her. When I saw this, it made me begin to
look at these movies in a different light. From a mindset of love for someone
else who returned love, I came to see how the things depicted in these movies
are outright gruesome. How they are against life. Against love. Against
the very Divine Universe that has given me life. Perhaps you might consider
how much love are in these movies when limbs are getting torn out of their
sockets in front of you next time you find yourself watching such flicks.
Think about it again when you hear people talking about how "cool"
or "good" the movie was. At any rate, it wasn't her so much that
showed me this. It was the self-realization aspects that love brings to
those that begin to hear it's beautiful song. A song that lifts you up.
A song that makes you feel good about yourself. A song that makes you truly
happy. A happiness that shines like the Sun. The ability to look at yourself
and say, "Love has changed me and given unto me the ability to say
with truth: I like myself."
To sum up the example, that girl in my life is long gone, but the lessons
remain. I can barely stand watching such violence in movies or TV anymore.
The cruelty and hatred makes my stomach feel physically sick and it saddens
my spirit. Perhaps you've experienced such changes in yourself in your endeavors.
Why then would you think such that you would not be able to change someone
else's level of existence simply by loving them? You must have faith without
exception. You must have an ounce of confidence in the Law of Change. Many
people lack that and it causes them constant longing. That longing is suffering.
Waiting for the PERFECT someone that's all packaged and ready to go. Just
add water. Except they never come.
Granted there are people, that for whatever reason, be it their current
spiritual progress or state, that will not hear Love's song. They will not
appear to be changed by your love. See that for what it is quickly so as
to not be pulled in by that darkness and become subject and enslaved by
it. Bid a loving farewell and continue on to seek out one with the proper
ears. Do not try to change someone. Understand that it is NOT YOU that can
change people. It is neither your duty nor your right. Only the divine energy
of Love itself can change someone. Only It has such power. Of course, the
receiver must be a willing receptacle. So it is with the Law of Free Will.
As a Human, you have the power to give and receive love. That is the one
true power of your existence to command with impunity. The most powerful
force in the Universe is that of Directed Will and there is no greater power
of Directed Will than that of the Directed Will of Unconditional Love.
As so it is with me, so may you well find yourself, back at square one.
Alone and searching for one with the proper ears. One that can hear Love's
beautiful song. One that wants to join in the chorus. And of course you
will again find yourself longing. Wanting to HAVE somebody. Wanting to HAVE
Now at this point, consider my second submission. Consider there is a fundamental
perspective that most people simply do not realize but yet remains the simplest
realization of all. You can not HAVE anyone! People are not possessions.
You can't HAVE love. Love is not a possession. You can't have a girlfriend,
boyfriend, husband, or wife because those are NOT possessions. You might
think that such a statement to be too obvious. Why bother to mention it?
Ask yourself, how many times have you said that you WANT to HAVE such a
relation? How many times have you used the words of demand and possession
in such thoughts. It is quite significant. It is not a figure of speech.
What you speak is a song and that song sings the fundamental paradigm in
which you view the world. If you haven't thought about it like that, take
some time. Consider what you've been asking for. You may well discover that
which you have been asking for is something that you can not HAVE. Because
it does not work like that. Because it does not exist.
We need to change our fundamental view of the world from a possession based
viewpoint into a new paradigm that sees things as they really exist. We
need to speak words that sing the proper song.
So the question emerges, if we can't have that special someone, how can
we have one? Or rather, how can we be in existence with that someone? It's
hard to start thinking outside of a possession based viewpoint and properly
word it. That is why in a fundamental change in our view of the world it
is required for us to take the time to reflect and contemplate on this new
paradigm. It does not happen just by reading an article. An article can
show you the path, but of course it is up to you to take up the task of
treading upon it.
In this economic and material based world, we are not used to thinking in
terms of things we can't HAVE. A solution to our unhappiness that we cannot
run out and purchase. There is no instant gratification. If there is, you
will no doubt learn the hard way of the significant warning sign it poses.
The deception that lies within.
Are not relationships unlike plants? Have you not to cultivate them? Certainly
one can not just expect to get a beautiful and healthy plant just buy throwing
any seed in any kind of soil and giving it little care. Sure, that much
may seem obvious. But if it's so obvious, then why do people continually
take such attitude with relationships? Obviously, there's no big secret
to any of this but yet it remains cryptic to those who have forsaken the
intuition to read Reality's hieroglyphics. Myself not completely excluded,
So in conclusion, reflect on these two points. Consider the Law of Change
and become aware of your possession-based intrinsic viewpoint. Understand
without exception that no one is perfect. Not you. Not the people you will
find. If you think these statements are of cursory depth, respectfully consider
the fact that you may have completely overlooked the point.
Some things require deep thought and introspection. No one gets a free ride.
There is always to be taken up, for everyone awaiting, the Task at Hand.
Just like you have to do the work to earn a paycheck, so must you do the
work in Life's trials and tribulations. The answer to Life's problems is
not something that is going to pop up for sale on eBay. Therefore, it is
to be said, that self-realization will always carry in tow the paramount
prerequisite of self-reflection.
Article Copyright 2005 Brian James Chapman. All Rights Reserved.
No re-publication, in any form, without consent of the Author.
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the opinion of the author and is provided for educational purposes only.
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