I am trying to read it, but the words just seem to come out like blurs. I
can't make out one word. So I say "let me have my parents read over it
and I'll mail it back to you! What's your address?" That was the last
straw. The new Mr. Green starts to freak out and he says "I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT IT SAYS, IT SAYS THAT YOU GIVE US PERMISSION TO KILL YOU! I REALLY DON'T
GIVE A F*CK IF YOU SIGN IT OR NOT BECAUSE WE WILL JUST SIGN YOUR NAME TO IT
ANYWAY! SO SHUT THE F*CK UP AND SIGN THE DAMN PAPER"
I focus very had
on the paper and the first few words say some thing like I _____________ am
of free mind and body do here by freely consent.. Blah! Blah.. Blah. I said
"this is wrong, I don't freely consent". He rips the paper out of
my hands and hands it to someone off to my right. Within moments the paper
is back and my name is now on the paper. The new Mr. Green then gets a glass
of water and puts some white powder in it, mixes it up and tells me to drink
it. I ask "what's in it" and he pounds his fist on the desk "JUST
F*CKING DRINK IT". Adolph comes over my right shoulder and tells me that
it's poison and that it will kill me and I WILL drink it. At first I wouldn't,
but then finally I drink the glass of water. Almost instantly I "flash"
to the healing pool and this time my stomach hurts me so badly I cannot stand
it. But I make it into the green water.
Everything is very dark for a while. I feel like I am moving. This goes
on for a while and then it feels like we have stopped. All of a sudden, there
is a dim light. I am in the trunk of a car. The men go to pull me out and
when I move on my own they literally jump back about three feet. I get out
of the car and simply ask "what's going on?" The one man immediately
gets on his portable phone and starts yelling into it. "Do you want to
talk to him, here" and he hands me the phone. The man's voice on the
phone sounds familiar. For some reason they tell me to lay in the pine box
at the bottom of the hole and to go to sleep. I wake up and it is black, and
by black I mean a blackness that you can only appreciate if you have been
buried alive yourself. I hear dirt being thrown on top of me and I start to
I managed to bench press the lid only about an inch or so, but it was enough
for me to get my legs and feet up onto the lid. And I manage to leg press
the lid off and to the side about 6 to 8 inches. And I start to try and dig
my self out. This seemed to take forever and I took the dirt that I had just
dug away and stuffed in the coffin behind me by my feet and I in a frantic
panic proceeded to dig my way up. As I break through the final layers, the
men are packing up the shovels in the car and they are putting their shirt
back on. As I pull myself out of the earth, the look of fear on their faces
was evident. I could smell the fear in the air and they knew they had done
something terrible and now were caught. Within moments, I had broken both of
their necks and again sat right beside the bodies and began to cry. This time
when the phone rang, I answered it.
"Hello?", I said. The voice art the other end said "Who's
this?" "Who's THIS.." I said, then I said "Your friends
are dead and I'm still alive" and threw the phone into the woods.
I was covered in blood and dirt, and I blacked out.
The next morning I wake up in my bed and I am all cleaned up, except there
is a tremendous amount of dirt under my fingernails. Then there was the meeting
between myself and the man with the white hair. He says to me "Andy,
in Spain when a bull enters into the bull ring he is facing certain death.
There is no escape for him. However, every once in a while there comes a bull
that fights so valiantly that the animal is sparred and he is put out to pasture
to stud. We have decided to put you out to pasture, and retire you. And I
said "You are going to put me out to pasture to graze but yet I am still
fenced in", and he looked at me and just laughed.
This is common practice as the "mind f*ck" if you will is they
tell you that you are out when that couldn't be farther from the truth.
It's just another layer of programming to erase your memory.
June-August 1990 -
Working at dad's.
I am taking business law 102, in the spring of sophomore
year. During the first month of classes from professor Shanahand (the business
law professor in the Simon school of business) Desert storm.
I graduate from college and move home to start looking for a job.
I am working in Newark for an air freight company (near Newark
airport). On my way to work I am listening to Howard Stern's radio show. He
starts talking about this video tape he has of a kid who is put on trial for
supposedly taking steroids when he is in high school. He says that this happened
years ago but he wants this person to call in. He wants to talk to me. At
that moment, I instantly break into a cold sweat and my head starts spinning
as I'm driving on the Garden State parkway. I get to work and Howard is still
raving on about this. I don't call. The next day he is calling me a coward
and a weasel for not coming forward because he wants to make me into a hero
or something (I told a lot of adults to "F*ck off," literally).
He finds out who I am from the tape, calls me and tells me he is sending a
limo for me. I take tomorrow off. In the morning, the limo arrives and I just
cannot get myself to get in, and I send it away. Howard calls and he is pissed
and calls me all kinds of names. In the afternoon, he calls me again and this
time he is even more pissed. He is frantic yelling at me about how the GOVERNMENT
just pushed there way in here, took the tape, and said that if he said one
more word about this that he is going to revoke their FCC license.
He, of course, talks about it on the radio the next day, begging me to come
forward and stand up to them. I cannot. Every time I even try to think about
any of that stuff, my head literally starts to spin. Then I remember, Mr. Green
and a group of men show up at my house, and erase my memory again.
My father discusses my future with me and what I want to do.
I told him that I never want to live up north again. Trying to help, he calls
his Navy buddy who owns a printing company down in Atlanta. I interview and
get the job. I move down to Atlanta to start my new job and supposedly my
In my apartment complex, this guy unusually comes up to me and
introduces himself at the apartment complex pool. The guy's name is Aaron
and he is down South to get his masters degree in PSYCHOLOGY. Coincidentally
he is also from Rochester NY. And went to the University of Rochester for
one semester and supposedly knows some of my friends as he is a "local"
Rochester boy. He becomes my best friend after a while and about a year goes
by. When we would go out drinking or be at parties Aaron would brag about
being able to hypnotize people without them even knowing it and how he could
just "f*ck" with people's minds. I never thought much about it.
I had absolutely no memory of any of my college horrors and frankly was having
the time of my life in Atlanta. He was also one of my "best friends"
so I never even considered or gave anything else a second thought.
The printing company didn't expand in terms of future potential
as I had hoped and I finally had quit after about a year and a half (I think).
I was unemployed for a while but then I got my first corporate break. I get
my first job with a major corporation (the Dunlop tire corporation). Three
hundred and sixty resumes for one spot and I got the job. So naturally I was
very excited and told all my friends. The job involved traveling all around
the Southeast every week (being gone Tuesday through Friday, on the road,
every week). The job didn't start until late August and it was early July
so I had some time on my hands.
About two weeks after I told Aaron that I had gotten the job he calls me
and asks me to come over. I get to his apartment and we bullshit for about
an hour, he tells me out of the blue that "some people are concerned
about your new job". I was shocked and this really came out of left field
so I said "what the f*ck are you talking about". He said "the
fact that we won't know where you are during the week" and I was just
utterly confused and became extremely pissed off (I still had no memory of
any of the events, the torture, the assassinations, the Illuminati, nothing)
and I said "What the hell are you talking about? Who is concerned? What
business is it of theirs anyway? Who? I don't understand?"
He let it go. What happened next he did not let go. I had all this time
on my hands and I was very nervous because I had to go to Buffalo for three
weeks of training. I was 24 years old and this was my first "real job"
with a company car, expense account and everything. Ever since I came back
from Munich Germany when I was 5 years old I stuttered severely when I spoke.
The thing is I knew it was all in my mind, because when I was alone I could
speak very fluently, but when I had to speak to anyone, read aloud or, heaven
forbid, speak to a group of people my entire throat would just "lock
up" and I could not speak word one. This was a serious problem for me
and needless to say I was tormented as a child. But anyway, I decided that
this was my first real job and if I wanted to get anywhere in life that I
will not let this stop me and it must be fixed and now is the time.
I had never been to a hypno-therapist before but for some reason I really
believed in the power of hypnotism, and I really thought that this along with
my Silva mind control could really help me. So I open the yellow pages and
pick out a hypnotherapist. In the ad the hypnotheraipist claimed to be able
to cure many different ailments within a few sessions, stuttering was one
of them so I called and made an appointment.
I proceed to go into the appointment talk to the Doctor and explain how
I think my problem is all in my mind. He states that my conclusions are "very
interesting", and he puts me under. When I opened my eyes the doctor's
face was white as a ghost and he is sweating bullets, there are now two assistants
in the room and they have the same horrific look on their faces. The doctor
in a trembling voice asks me "DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A GOVERNMENT
MEMORY CAP IN YOUR MIND?" I said "no, what are you talking about?"
He is still sweating profusely, and I ask him "what is going on."
He would not discuss it but he said he wanted to see me tomorrow. I go to
pay for the session in the lobby and I ask the assistant "what happened
in there?" At first she would not tell me but I finally got it out of
her. She said that I absolutely FREAKED OUT and I was absolutely screaming
uncontrollably. She also stated that in her 15 years with this doctor she
had never seen anything like it. She said the doctor tried for 15 minutes
to put the cap back on and I would not let him, they had to get three other
people to hold me down and finally he got control of the situation again.
This is on a Tuesday, the doctor wanted to see me the next day but he was
booked through Friday, the assistant made room for me to see him on Thursday.
I leave very confused, still having no clear memories as to what's going on
and no memories of any of the government experiments or the Illuminati or
the underground bases. The thing is I go home and what do I do, I go right
over to my best friends apartment (Aaron) and tell him the whole story about
what happened at the hypnotheripest and the memory cap. He starts to FREAK
OUT, "you went to a hypnotherapist, WHEN?" And let me tell you he
I remember being very confused because I still didn't make the connection.
I remember going into his apartment, telling him what happened, he gets very
angry, but after that there was "lost time." It was between 3:00
and 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon when I went over there. I remember this
because there were "soap operas" on the television when I was initially
telling him my story, when I left "Jeopardy" was on and it was becoming
dusk. It was about 7:30 in the evening. I leave his apartment and go home,
I found myself sort of wondering what happened? At home I empty my pockets
on the table (change, keys etc..) and I have the receipt from the hypnotherapist.
"Oh yea" I say, I'm supposed to see him on Thursday, but I couldn't
remember anything else.
I go back Thursday AND THE DOCTOR IS NO LONGER THERE! I MEAN HIS NAME IS
SCRACHED OFF THE DOOR HE IS GONE, VANISHED, I MEAN IT WAS LIKE HE HAD NEVER
BEEN THERE. There were four or five doctors sharing the same office and there
was simply a space where his name had been. I go in and ask the receptionist
where is doctor so and so, as hard as I try right now to this day I just cannot
remember his name, but I can find my way back to where his office was. But
anyway, I ASK THE RESEPTIONIST WHAT IS GOING ON AND SHE TELLS ME TO PLEASE
LEAVE AND DO NOT COME BACK. I ask about the doctor, she closes the receptionists
window turns her back to me and walks away.
I go home, even more confused, Aaron calls me that night to come over, I
go, again not thinking anything about it. This is where all hell breaks loose.
I go to his apartment and we are sitting down talking as usual. From the back
bedroom six or seven men come out! Mr. Green and a group of men are right
there and I start freaking out. The other men were dressed in black. The instant
I saw these men I began to remember, my instinct tells me to run but I was
taken totally by surprise. The men in black leap over the couch, grab and
hold me. They pined me against the back of the couch, I had no leverage to
plant my feet and try to get up. They start to laugh and say things like "this
guy isn't so tough" and "that was easy." Mr. Green says
"If you even had any idea how dangerous that guy is you would not even
be holding him!"
I remember looking at Aaron with a look of betrayal, I think I started to
cry, he could not look at me. Mr. Green says "do you have any idea how
much trouble you've been, we should have killed you a long time ago."
I start yelling "I'M GOING TO F*CKIN KILL YOU!"
He asks Aaron if I am going to remember any of this. Aaron answers "no".
He then proceeds to punch me in the face and calls me a "mother f*cker"
or something. I am struggling to get up but I just could not move, Aaron then
Aaron then says the "magic word." The first one didn't work. It
was hippa.. something or other. He tries another one Poly-pop-er-enus , snarf-a-lif-agus,
when he finds the right one instantly I cannot move. He tells me how relaxed
I feel, how warm and safe I feel, how I am in a "happy place", to
"lay back, relax, smile." As I'm sitting there I cannot move, but
I can hear them laughing at me. He starts telling Mr. Green how he didn't
know what exact word they used but once you find it "that's it"
he is totally under your control.
This is where things start getting a little crazy. What he did to me somehow,
I remember, is he somehow locked me away in my own mind, creating a multiple
personality over mine to make me forget everything. I remember fighting him
for control in my mind. He told me that I will do whatever he tells me to
do. He said the walls are closing in on you and you cannot fight it. In my
mind. I of course pictured the walls closing in. On his instruction the walls
closed in until I was inside a "vacuum sealed steel coffin", which
conformed to the shape of my body (like a vacuum sealed produce package only
it was my body sealed in a steel coffin with only my face showing). I could
not fight it and I could not move. He then said you are being sent to a place
in your mind where you will never be found, at this point I start screaming
"no no no".
After he sent me to a place where "no one will ever find you",
he instructed that "a steel plate the size of ten football fields and
10 feet thick is crashing down upon you" and he said "here it comes,
and there is no escape". I remember screaming again as he says "boooom".
Here comes another one, "boooom", and he proceeded to do this five
or six more times. I am screaming during all of this. And I remember Mr. Green
and the others laughing at me while Aaron was doing this.
The thing is, the one thing I do remember about the hypnotherapist's first
visit is; I remember being back in my mind, "my safe place" and
off in the corner with these "steel plates" or like a heavy iron
with some weathering and rust around the edges. Dust was all over them and
they were bolted to the wall on an angle. I remember hearing horrific cries
coming from behind it, like some kind of creature or monster. To investigate
I imagined that the steel plates were made of tin foil and instantly I had
the strength to bend them back one by one. I was scared. As I got to the lower
layers I hear scratching, like a wild animal clawing at a door to get out.
The last few layers were bubbled out like you can make dents in a sheet of
tin foil with your finger (only much bigger). Down in the corner, there was
a little piece that had been ripped aside, and you could see the blackness
behind it. I get on my hands and knees to get a closer look, ALL OF A SUDDEN
a hand of half rotted bone and flesh suddenly reaches out and grabs my face.
It would not let go.
I FINALLY GET AWAY FROM IT, but now the creature is suddenly energized and
begins to violently scratch and claw and with incredible force starts ripping
at the last layers of the steel. Finally, it made itself enough of a space
to get out. From the blackness emerges a half rotted corpse, on it's arms,
legs and left shoulder there was only bone, no flesh. An image of a body that
had been locked in a closet for years, half rotted and half already dead.
On the verge of insanity from being trapped in a space so small you cannot
move, yet you cannot die. I am now slowly backing away from it.. It says "what
are you afraid of?" it asks. "Who are you?" I ask it, IT ANSWERS
"I AM YOU, DON'T YOU RECOGNISE YOURSELF!" With a burst of speed
it leaps at me and grabs hold of me, like someone trying to embrace me. With
it's half rotted arms around me I start screaming.
I believe that this is when I started flipping out in the doctors office.
The hypnotherapist was then trying to "cover it back up" but the
"self" that they had locked away was by no means going to go back
into that tiny space quietly by any stretch of the imagination. That's why
he had so much trouble getting control of the situation again.
The hypnotherapist finally pulls me out of it, and two days later the hypnotherapist
has disappeared and Aaron had locked the "monster" (it is no monster,
it is my true "self") away again, with new doors and in a new place.
The monster who claims to be the real me is even now locked away somewhere
in my mind? This concept is very scary and confusing but these are my memories.
August 1994 - June 1996-
After that I didn't remember any of those events
or any other events for that matter until years later when a single event
"punched" a hole in the "alternate reality", the "alternate
personality" if you will, and Aaron continued to be my "best friend"
as he was my assigned "controller" or "handler". Over
the next two years or so I would go over to Aaron's apartment, hang out all
the time, and we were buddies. The thing is, odd things would happen sometimes
but I would just dismiss them Because I had no recollection of ANY of the
past events. For example, sometimes Aaron would just get up and lock the door.
Right in the middle of a movie or something. It's only the two of us and I
am about 6 foot tall and 230 pounds with bodybuilder physiques and Aaron is
about 5'-10" and about 210 pounds with a very muscular build, and he
is living in a very quiet and secure apartment complex. So I began to wonder
about these events and I would ask him "why do you sometimes get up and
lock the door" and he would never answer me, and I would never question
I remember a lot of missing time at Aaron's, watching a movie and all of
a sudden I would be watching a different movie and it is 2:00 in the morning.
All of a sudden I would realize what time it was and I would say "Where
the f*ck did the time go" and I would just get up and leave. But thinking
back I can vaguely remember all the programming sessions he would have. He
would keep trying to totally destroy the "Monster" if you will,
but he never could. I can remember countless episodes of Mr. Green being there,
as well as others, studying me, trying to figure me out. But at the time some
things you really don't think about until later.
What was happening was they were watching all the time. I had no memories
about anything up to that point. My apartment was wired for sound and video.
Every moment of my life was being watched. One odd thing about my life is,
ALL of my girlfriends, at least all the women I would consider calling my
girlfriend, have said the same thing to me at one point in time or another.
They all told me that my apartment was almost like a "hotel" room.
I guess that when women first start dating someone they like to get to know
the person by looking at all their "stuff." I had some of the nicest
"stuff" money could buy in terms of furniture and electronics (a
very nice furnished apartment). The thing is there is no "memorabilia"
at all, and thinking about it, they are right! I have no photos at all! None
of my parents, none of my family, none of ANY college friends, NOTHING! No
scrap books, no photo albums, no souvenirs, no books at all, nothing personal
of any kind. I have a fully furnished apartment which is nicely decorated,
but there is no personal memorabilia of any kind. No memories and no past.
(leave it to the women to notice this)
Another funny thing is, Aaron took a job as a student counselor at Life
Chiropractic college in Atlanta. His favorite pastime was to steal all of
the college's video tapes which dealt with the human mind and relating subjects
from the Life college library. He must have had 20 different "sets"
of tapes. These ranged from documentaries to case studies of all the different
mental diseases and theories of how the human mind functions and what exactly
occurs in each of them. In fact, the more I think about it, ALL we used to
do is sit around and discuss how the human mind functions. He would say the
"Magic word" and I would sit there in my altered state of reality
and he would tell me his view of the mind. How the human mind functions just
like a basic computer. With every decision either being "yes" or
"no" answer, like a switch which is either "on" or "off",
and would discuss how every memory, function, and action we had or did is
basically a string of yes or no responses. "Like a long combination lock
you must have the exact code to get 'In' he said. We would watch video after
video. Then I would tell him how I thought the human worked and functions.
We would spend hours upon hours discussing this.
Over the years the two of us would sit and he talk about "How to mind
f*ck" someone. The basic concept is to build a "Platform over your
real consciousness, and that then becomes your real consciousness." And
all along this was already been done to me and I had no clue about any of
it. Which in itself is a very scary concept. A fake reality if you will. Sort
of like Windows 95. Windows 95 is basically a "platform" built over
the DOS program to make the PC applications more "User friendly",
where all the computations, and all the "essence" of the program
is written in code using DOS, but all you see on the screen is Windows 95
(like a platform built over the essence of the computer). It's kind of funny,
in a very sick sort of way. Here we I am sitting around discussing how to
mind f*ck somebody, for years, with my best friend. When all along, I've already
been "mind f*cked" by him for years, and don't have a clue about
any of it. He discusses it with me just like it's normal conversation! Now
that's a real "mind f*ck" if you think about it!
What was happening was all during my time in Atlanta they were using me
for all sorts of different experiments at the Dobbins Air Force Base in Atlanta
where a "major" project had become active. I was also used in the Montauk chair for the time travel experiments at this time.
My girlfriend, Pilar, is going to declare chapter 7 due to her
debt load from past bills. I had lent her some money, and she wanted to pay
me back by paying for my car repairs at the local Toyota dealership. I needed
a new muffler, power radio antenna, timing belt, and tune up. About $1,200.00
worth of work which she was going to charge on her credit card before she
had to cut them up because of the chapter 7. The dealership tells me it's
going to take only one day and I'll be able to pick it up in the morning.
They give me a rental car to drive around.
The next day I go back to pick it up and it's not ready. I go back the third
day and it's still not ready. I call on the forth day (Saturday), and they
tell me it won't be ready until Monday. "Look", I said, "I
used to be in the car business and I know that your service department can
crank out between 75 and 200 cars a day, why the f*ck is mine taking a week
when you told me it would only take one day?" And he says "we had
to order parts and it will be ready Monday!" And rudely hangs the phone
up on me. Monday comes and I go to pick up the car. I get the bill and it's
gone from $1,200.00 to $1,750.00. I'm furious, mainly because I didn't know
if the credit card was going to go through at $1,700.00+, and I would really
be stuck. And let me tell you I get in the guys face and start freaking out,
"You have the balls to keep my car for a whole week and then bill me
$600.00 over the estimate, where is the manager etc..etc.." He replies
"we had to order some parts" "What parts" I say. He gets
the paper work, looks through it and says "we had to special order your
radio antenna" I say "special order the radio antenna, IT'S A F*CKING
'92 TOYOTA CAMERY! Your telling me that not one store in Atlanta had a power
antenna for a Toyota Camrey for a whole week! The entire city is sold out,
that's BULL SHIT!" He then gets is my face and says to me "I know
who you are, and we don't want your kind here. I'll take $100.00 off the bill,
but don't come back because we don't want your business or your "dirty"
"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I answer. "We had
a visit from some of your "friends" and they told us all about you,
you piece of Shit drug dealer". "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
I say again. "I spit on guys like you, dealing drugs to kids, I should
kick your ass right here and now. Don't worry you'll get yours someday, sooner
than you think." He says. I said "look I have no idea what you are
even talking about!? He says "pay it, and get the F*CK out of here and
don't come back."
I pay the $1,650.00, the credit card goes through. Pilar says "what
the hell is he talking about?" I said "I wish I knew". We leave,
she drives her car back to work, and I ride around for a while. I'm still
pissed off. This is too freaking weird! About an hour into my "ride",
I have an idea! I drive back to the dealership and pull into the "Pep
Boys" auto parts store located next door to the Toyota dealership I had
my car serviced at. I go in and ask the guy at the counter, who also happens
to be the manager, if they do any business with the Toyota dealership next
door. He says "are you kidding me, they are our largest account".
"Oh"! I say. "I'm looking for a power antenna for my car"
I say. He asks "what year, and what make?" "'92 Toyota Camrey"
I tell him. He punches it up on the computer. "Yes" he says and
starts back to go get it. "Sir can you tell me how many you have in stock"
I ask. He looks at the screen "53" he answers, "why" he
asks. "I was just curious because I was in two days ago and the clerk
told me you were out of them." "That's impossible" he says.
"You see this little "*" next to the part number, it tells
me that on this particular part we sell so many of them that, if we ever go
below a dozen in stock the computer in the warehouse automatically ships us
more and we would get them the next day." "Thank you" I say,
Someone, (the Illuminati, the Nazi party, and United States government are
the people responsible for all of this as well as the torture at the University
of Rochester, as well as the assassinations) told the Roswell Toyota dealership
of Atlanta Georgia that I was a drug dealer, so they could keep my car an
extra 6 days to special order me a new radio antenna???????? This one blew
my mind for a long time because I still had no idea what the hell was going
Aaron informs me that he is going to have to leave Atlanta
for at least a year and that all he can tell me is that it's "family
related." He says it won't happen until late May or early June. I'm very
sad to hear that my friend is going away. He not only is my best friend but
he is also very involved in my business and everything that I do. We try and
work out something to where he can still be involved and run things from his
father's house in Rochester. I knew it wouldn't work, he was quite insistant
that it would. He keeps reassuring me not to worry because he WILL be back
in a year. All along I am asking him "What's going on?" Finally,
with me swearing under strictest confidence that I won't tell anyone, Aaron
proceeds to tell me that what has happened is this; His father used to work
for a very large corporation in Rochester, and years ago he gave his father
the idea that he could sue this company for "mental anguish" or
that the stress of his job caused him to somehow "snap" causing
him to be mentally insane, and now he is suing them. Aaron then tells me that
what HE did, was to instruct his father exactly how to answer all of the physiological
tests and questions that they were going to ask him, and basically showed
him how to scam thousands of dollars out of the company in the lawsuit. Three
years later, Aaron's father won, and was awarded several hundreds of thousands
of dollars. But what happened was, the Judge ruled that Aaron's father was
to receive the settlement, however since he was "mentally not all there"
he was not going to give control of the money to him as it had to last him
for the rest of his life as he was no longer able to work. So the judge was
going to set up some kind of "trust" account where someone other
than Aaron's father must act as the executor of the account and therefore
be the one who actually distributes the funds since he was "mentally
So, since Aaron's parents are divorced, and no one else in the family knew
that the whole lawsuit was all a lie, Aaron had to go home to act as the executor
for his father. And it had to be for at least a year because the money was
supposed to last his father for the rest of his life since he is no longer
able to work.
So they couldn't just pull it all out at once because the insurance company
for sure would be watching them. My girlfriend, Pilar, kept wanting Aaron
to hypnotize her to see if he could clear up some of the past trauma she had
experienced with her x-husbands. He always talked about how he could hypnotize
people without them even knowing it, and she wanted him to do it to her, but
ONLY if I was there. She didn't trust him enough to do it on her own. For
some reason he wouldn't do it. He would say "I don't think that's a good
idea" and would always put it off. But yet I remember going to Aaron's
one night with Pilar, and it was one of those "missing time" nights
where I remember just staring off onto space for a while. The next night I
go over again, this time by myself.
Aaron says something very strange to me. He says "man, you have nothing
to worry about with Pilar, she absolutely idolizes you", 'trust me' on
this." How the hell would he know? I ask myself later. Months later,
when I put it all together, I think he did it to see if I had told Pilar about
his father, good thing I didn't.
One Friday night I'm at home and Pilar is coming over later to watch some
movies. I'm feeling very up tight about my business and how it's not going
as well as anticipated. All along and for as long as I could remember I always
felt like some thing wasn't right with me. Like some thing was "wrong"
but I just had no idea what it was or where this feeling was coming from.
ALL OF A SUDDEN I REMEMBERED THAT I KNOW SILVA MIND CONTROL! I had totally
forgotten about it. Like out of the blue it was like a revelation. I guess
I just hadn't thought about it for years. So I relax, and go to my level.
I'm having a great session, feeling totally relaxed and comfortable. I open
my eyes and Pilar is sitting on the floor next to me with this look on her
face like she is seeing the devil possessing someone. I ask her how long she
has been there? She says to me "What the hell were you doing?" And
I tell her all about the Silva method and about going to different "Levels"
of your mind. She says to me "you never told me you could do that!".
"I FORGOT I COULD" I say. I asked her if I looked funny, and she
tells me that she almost freaked out when she saw me. "Why?" I asked
her. "Your eye balls were flurrying left and right at a million miles
an hour. I thought you were possessed or something. Then I called your name
and you wouldn't answer. So I sat down and watched." "How long were
you watching me" I ask. About 15 minutes she answers. What does she say
next? "TEACH ME". So she downs three glasses of wine and we spend
the rest of the night doing Silva mind control.
What happened, however, is that the next time we went to Aaron's apartment,
Pilar, wanting to be involved in some of the intellectual conversations Aaron
and I had, starts talking about how I taught her the Silva method and how
she went down to the different levels of her mind and the whole thing. The
next day I go over to Aaron's to watch movies, I remember him getting up and
locking the door. AFTER THAT DAY, AND TO THIS DAY I CANNOT GO TO MY LEVEL.
IN MY MIND, I JUST CANNOT PICTURE AN ELEVATOR SHAFT IN MY MIND. I TRY AND
I TRY BUT I JUST CANNOT DO IT FOR SOME REASON. I guess Aaron didn't like the
idea of me romping around in my own mind and somehow "rigged it"
so that I cannot enter. It's sort of like being locked out of your own mind.
WHAT WAS THE "EVENT" THAT TRIGGERED THE
RECALL OF MY MEMORY? HERE IT IS. Aaron is a 5'-10" muscular, balding
Italian man, who, if he could, would spend his entire life walking around
in his "flip flops" with a short sleeve shirt unbuttoned down to
his belly button and in a baggy pair of shorts hanging out at the pool all
day everyday. We would still do things like go to concerts, the home depo,
occasionally a movie. Things like that but nothing that ever required too
much planning or usually too much physical effort (except working out). One
rainy march evening I get to Aaron's, and he has a sudden burst of energy
and decides that he wants to go BOWLING. "Bowling" I say. As it
turns out, Aaron is an avid bowler. He even has his own ball (which he stole
form a bowling ally in Rochester NY). No bag, just the ball. He says he hasn't
been in a long time and he somehow got a "wild hair stuck in his ass".
This was a big venture for him because Aaron actually had to go into his closet
and dig out his sneakers and a pair of jeans to go to the bowling ally.
We go, we walk in and get our lane and our shoes from the front desk. We
turn to the left and start walking to our lane. As we walk, the lanes are
on the right and the pro shop and bar is on the our left. Aaron is ahead of
me, about 3 steps (the fastest I have ever seen him walk, I guess he was excited
to be bowling or something). As we walk we pass the door to the pro shop there
is a life size cutout of a man in a rhinocerous suite. He is standing there
holding a bowling ball (it was a very elaborate life size 3-dimential marketing
display with a real bowling ball in the guys hands). The display said something
like "Bowl with the best, Bowl with what the professionals use, Bowl
with 'RHINO BALLS'."
And as I walk by I start laughing. "BOWL WITH RHINO BALLS" I yell
ahead of me. AND THEN IT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT
I SAID IT "THEY USED TO CALL ME 'THE RHINO' ONCE!" and Aaron drops
his bowling ball and IMMEDIATELY AND I MEAN IMMEDIATELY turns around, walks
back and gets right in my face and says "WHEN DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE
RHINOî', WHEN DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE RHINO'! WHAT GOT ME WAS HE SAID
IT TWICE. I was caught off guard by his actions and I blurted out "In
high school" I said. They used to call me "the rhino" in high
school, it was my football nickname. I will never forget the look in his eye
as he was examining me, studying me. The thing is I LIED, they NEVER called
me "the Rhino" in high school. "The Rhino" was actually
a friend of mines "nickname" and he was on another team. My "nick
name" in high school was "B A" for "Bad Ass".
The moment after I said "They used to call me ìthe Rhino."
What "popped" into my mind was not some high school football game.
What "popped" into my mind was ME, STANDING ON A ROOF TOP, LOOKING
DOWN, AND YELLING AT THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR "BECAUSE I'M WEARING
MY NIKEíS", AND THEN I WATCH AS HE TRIED TO CLIMB THE WALL THE
WAY I JUST DID. HE COMES REAL CLOSE (COMES UP 3-4 FEET SHORT) AND SLIDES BACK
DOWN. AND AS HE SLIDES BACK DOWN, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIS FACE, RIGHT IN
HIS EYES. AND HE IS LOOKING RIGHT INTO MINE. AND I REMEMBERED THE GIRL THEY
HAD JUST KILLED WHEN THEY RAN HER OVER. But that was it. Each of those memories
were about 5 seconds long and somehow I knew there was more but I just couldn't
put my finger on it. But I had punched a hole in their "alternate reality"
and some memories had dripped through.
THAT'S WHAT BROUGHT IT BACK! A PROFESSIONAL BOWLING BALL. WHO'S BRAND NAME
IS "RHINO", THE "RHINO BALL", THAT WAS THE EVENT WHICH
TRIGGERED MY MEMORY. THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBERED, THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR,
JUST AFTER THEY RAN OVER THE GIRL.
I lied to Aaron not out of fear. It just flew out of my mouth. I didn't
even think about it. I just told the story about it being a high school "nick
name". As we began to bowl, I could tell Aaron was not himself, nervous,
anxious, and he asked me about "the Rhino" again and again. "Are
you sure that's when they called you "the Rhino?" He asks.
As I'm about to bowl I turn to him and say "Pretty f*cken sure asshole!
Watch this," and I pictured myself throwing a strike, I start on my approach
and I whizzed that ball down the lane and I threw a strike. I had just taken
a crash course in acting. Because I lied again. At that point what was going
through my mind was the girl, the man with the wooden blocks, the trial, Brian
talking to Mr. Green, the lab. And as I'm bowling all these things are rushing
into my mind. "Put it out of your mind" I say to my self. "Think
about it later" and I played it down. I got away with it because I hadn't
made the "Aaron connection" yet so I wasn't in the least bit nervous.
I honestly just wasn't going to tell my best friend, out of the blue, that
the Rhino was the term they used to call me when I was back in college and
involved with the government, and mind control experiments, and how I was
a unstoppable super assassin who possessed superhuman abilities! That would
fly over like a lead balloon. So I kept it to myself.
We bowled several games and consequently drank several pitchers of beer.
As we left and drove back to Aaron's he asked me to come in, several times.
I said "nah man, I'm beat, I'll call you in the morning." He pushed
it to the point to where I said something about it. "What's wrong with
you man? I'll call you in the f*cking morning." And I managed to play
it down again because I wasn't afraid of Aaron. That night, I didn't
literally sleep at all (and I really haven't slept a single night since and
it's been over a year). As I sat on my couch and thought about the "Rhino
ball" I remembered being on the roof again. Then I remembered the girl.
I then back tracked to the parking lot, running up the stairs, the girl, the
roof, the jump. Going back that night and seeing the men in yellow, going
back in the morning. Brian and the steroids. Him and Gwen, the lab, everything!
But the memories are all like a 5 second flash of a 10 minute movie all with
no sense of time order. Clear but then suddenly stops and it's all very confusing.
I'm even so clueless and lost in confusion that I ask Aaron "Aaron,
did you ever have any Army men over your apartment?" He of course wants
me to immediately come over. I go, we hang out, I watch some TV, I come home
and go to bed. As a mater of fact "I have a very pleasant evening."
In the morning, as I sit on the couch on the coffee table there is a legal
pad with all kinds of stuff written on it in my hand writing. The Rhino, Rochester,
90 degree vertical climbs, DID AARON LOCK THE DOOR??? WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU
DO AT AARON'S? CAN YOU REMEMBER? At that moment is when it all came together,
but still it was only as clear as a dream, only it was a bad dream and I was
I start thinking about college, and the thing is I couldn't remember college,
I didn't remember most of my life now that I thought about it. I remember
being at the University of Rochester, but the more I thought about it, I couldn't
remember anything specific. I don't sleep at all now, and more strange things
The next night it is 3:30 in the morning and I'm up thinking about all this.
I see head lights illuminating some of the parked cars in the parking lot,
but after they were on for about five minutes. So I go out onto my porch to
see what is going on. There is a full size puck up truck parked in front of
the Bell South phone box which is the main board for the whole complex (a
big gray thing about 4 feet high and 5 feet wide). A man has the box OPEN
and is doing something while the pick up truck is left running. What exactly
he is doing I have no idea, but the whole thing is making me extremely paranoid.
I think to my self "for God's sake Aaron has the key to my apartment."
So for the next three months I would lay my golf clubs between the front door
and the closet door to act as a "wedge" so if anyone tried to get
in while I was sleeping the front door would only open about three inches.
The next day I decide to call my father from a pay phone. And let me tell
you NOTHING is ever really real, until you tell your parents. I gather my
courage and I call my father. I ask him "Dad, Do you remember going to
Annapolis?", and he answers "Only when I'm awake! Why?" "Because
I don't remember college I answer. "I have memories of attending the
University of Rochester, but I don't remember being there!" I then proceed
to tell him the whole story about the mind control experiments, the girl who
was run over, the lab, everything but it's all in bits and pieces. I said
"either I have just gone totally insane or my entire life since the 6th
grade has all been a lie. Either way I need to get some serious physiological
help!" He has become quite serious now and says "I'm extremely glad
that YOU said that!"
Through a friend of a friend I get the name of a good psychologist, he subsequently
works with a psychiatrist, as it turns out I start seeing both of them.
Aaron is aware that I am seeing a psychologist, he is very interested in
what medication the doctor has given me and what is going on. I tell him that
I am going for therapy for the government mind control thoughts going on in
my head. He follows very carefully what's going on and is satisfied with the
fact that the doctors think that I am either "crazy" or "chemically
imbalanced" and they don't believe me.
For the next several weeks I remember going over to Aaron;s apartment and
there was a lot of missing time. What I would do was leave notes to my self.
One on the car seat, and one on my bed. Both saying the same thing: Did Aaron
lock the door? REMEMBER Rochester, the lab experiments, Aaron is controlling
you REMEMBER!!! And I would sign it to myself. As I would get into my car
after going over to Aaron's to watch movies I would find this note in my own
handwriting on the seat and I would read it and I became even more confused.
But from somewhere inside me I would somehow never let go of the few memories
that had broken through and every time that I would read the note it would
somehow bring it back.
After a while Aaron found out about the note I was leaving to my self in
the car because he kept on asking me (when he had me in the trance and I was
under his control) how the hell I keep getting out. And I would be forced
to tell him. The thing is, I would only tell him what he asked me. So since
he never asked about the "other" note I was leaving to my self on
my bed I never told him. And this game went on for weeks. After every night
I would come home and try and piece it back together again. As the weeks went
by I finally put the Aaron connection together, but I had to play along like
there was nothing wrong. But what happened was that Aaron eventually found
out that I knew in my real and daily life what he was doing to me. He tried
to keep plugging the holes in the dam (if you will) but my subconscious would
not be stopped, it was fighting to come out and there was nothing that he
could do about it. We had a falling out and didn't speak to each other from
that moment on. I believe that Aaron knew that I knew that he knew that I
knew and we simply stopped talking to each other for the final six weeks that
he was in Atlanta. Mostly because he feared for his life that he could no
longer control the memories that were coming back to me.
Aaron finally leaves to go to help his father, and never said
good by, he just left. Which only reinforces my suspicions.
After about 18 weeks, thousands of dollars, and two different
"sets" of psychologists, and psychiatrists. The third psychologist
I go to, who was referred from the second one after he said "I have no
idea how to help you or what to do with you!" because I was not "chemically
imbalanced" and in spite of all of the drugs and attempts to simply make
these "memories" simply go away he referred me to another doctor,
and he was vice a president of the psychology department at Emory University
hospital in Atlanta. The third guy finally had a good idea. He says to me
with a very egotistical demeanor "If you believe that your problem can
all be solved using hypnosis why are you here in my office?" I laughed
and thought about it and said "you know, your GOD D*MN RIGHT!" I
got up and walked out of his office.
All along, my parents, especially my mother are very very concerned for
my well being. My mother especially seems to want to know EXACTLY who I am
seeing, and EXACTLY what medications they are prescribing to me. And of course
I tell her as she is threatening to come down and stay at my apartment until
I get through this.
On the second, I had made arrangements to go and see a hypnotherapist.
For the initial appointment I had inquired as to if he had ever heard of the
Silva mind control method, and he responded that he did and "was even
aware of the technique and was fluent in it's applications." I specifically
did not mention anything about the government or the experiments. When I went
in with Pilar, all I told him was that for some reason, that I, no matter
how hard I tried, could not go down to my level using the Silva method. I
didnít know why but I thought it was just because I was under a lot
of pressure at work or something. He tries to put me under and I keep for
some reason coming out of it. He said "this is like trying to keep a
rubber duck at the bottom of a tub of water when all it wants to do is keep
popping back up to the surface."
He then gave me his professional opinion.
This is what he said "the mind is a funny thing, and we are not even
close to begin to understand it. Of all the functions in the mind, 95% of
what occurs, occurs in the unconscious, and only 5% of the mind functions
in the conscious. There is DEFINETLY something blocking you in some way. What's
happening is this, your unconscious is what really controls your mind.
I suspect that something happened in your past, something that is so agonizingly
painful your unconscious JUST WILL NOT let it come to the surface. Like a
"clenched fist" it will not let it go. At that point I knew that
he knew I was lying about why I really came to see him. He was a nice guy
and I liked him, but I had already made my plans to move back home, so I didn't
want to get started with a new "therapist" and then have to start
all over again when I moved, so I never went back to see him. He didn't even
charge me for the session.
My roommate from college and one of my best friends is getting
married in Oswego NY. I flew into Newark NJ and drove up to upstate New York.
Oswego is located about 50 miles or so North of Syracuse, with all this going
on in my head I didn't make a plane reservation until the week before. The
airlines wanted $1,200.00 to fly into Syracuse directly so I flew from Atlanta
to Newark for $199.00 and borrowed my mothers car and drove up. It was good
to see my friends and we had a great time. On my way home, since I was already
up there I got on the New York State thruway and went to Rochester as opposed
to coming directly home, more specifically the University of Rochester. I
was only going to one place and one place only. The building where I scaled
the wall and the girl was killed. The building where I remember seeing men
in yellow suits working at 3:00 in the morning "fixing" everything.
The building where I went back in the morning and found the crack in the block,
and where the railing had been replaced with a "new" one but the
cement was a different color.
I get there and let me tell you my heart was pounding. I go to the building
and look at the bottom block where the car had hit the building. AND LET ME
TELL YOU, THE CRACK IN THE BLOCK IS STILL THERE, AND THE ONE RAILING IS STILL
BEING HELD IN PLACE BY DIFFFERENT COLOR CEMENT JUST AS I REMEMBERED IT!
I move back home and start to look for people with similar experiences
or who I think can really "help me". I arrive in the afternoon (as
I had drove through the night), we unloaded the truck and I went to sleep.
The next day my Mothers friend Astrid follows me over to the local u-haul
facility, asks me how I feel, and I told her that I feel "fine"
but thanks for asking.
Over the next month, I am trying to piece together the fragments of my memory.
I go to the High school and start to ask questions. The coaches all of course
remembered me but the strange thing is when I asked them about the steroid
trial they all said the EXACT same answer. They all seemed to get this glazed
look in their eyes and they all said word for word "I remember something
about that, but I just can't put my finger on it!" All the people
who I know were there all seemed to get the same funny look in their eyes.
I try and talk to my mother about what I am remembering and the thing is everything
and anything that I would say her response would be "ANDY, THAT NEVER
HAPPENED". Even simple things like when I got into trouble as a kid when
my parents were going through their divorce, where I went to school in Germany,
the fights my parents used to get into when they going through their divorce.
"ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". So I began to cross check events with
my father and the rest of my family and they remembered most of the events
as I did. This did not make ANY sense. So I stopped discussing it with my
mother, and secluded myself in the basement of her house.
I went to see Father Jack and asked him about the steroid trial and his
response to me was "Andy, that never happened. We would never allow that
to happen. I strongly suggest that you don't say another word to ANYONE
about ANY of this and I strongly suggest that you forget that you even think
that it happened." This really pissed me off, because I know that I am
not crazy but what the hell is going on around here. So I tell Father Jack
that I am going to call Dr. Purrizzo and ask him about and of course Father
Jack tries his absolute best to convince me not to talk to ANYONE.
So if course I call Dr. Purizzo and get his service at his office as he
is on vacation in California. So I tell his nurse that I want to leave a message
for Mrs. Purrizzo (as she was the one who was caring out her sexual fantasies
on me with her friend back when I was in High School, and was the one who
would come up to visit me at Rochester and try and get me to sleep with her)
and if anyone would remember it would be her.
The next day Mrs. Purrizzo calls me and I just ask her if she remembers
me and if she remembers going to Rochester at all. She informs me that her
memory (conveniently) has gone since she has had Alzheimers disease, but
she remembers me from when she went to see her son play football against the
University of Rochester but that was it. This was impossible since I wasn't
playing football when her son (who was playing for Carginee Melon) played
the University of Rochester. The next day, I get a call from Dr. Purrizzo who
is calling me from California while on his vacation. And he says to me "This
better be good" and I started to ask him in a very nice and gentile tone
about the steroid trial and he starts to laugh at me calling me insane and
that I need to have myself checked into a mental clinic. So I ask him about
when I worked at the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn for him parking cars and how he hypnotized
me and put me on the table to try and find out if I was sleeping his wife
and to get revenge for ruining him at the steroid trial. He stated laughing
at me again (and I could hear Mrs. Purrizzo and a few other people laughing
in the background) and he tells me that I NEVER worked at the Ho-HO-Kus Inn.
So I ask to speak to Mrs. Purrizzo and he tells me that haven't I put her
through enough and since she has Alzheimers disease she has no memory, and
that for god's sake go and get some medication as I am a danger to society
and hangs the phone up on me.
I am now very confused. Within two hours, Dr. Purrizzo's oldest son (whom
I have never met never even knew existed until now) calls me out of the blue
to reassure me that there never was a steroid trial and that he has a list
of psychologist who would be more then glad to help me. I tell him in a very
calm voice that I was just having these strange memories and I was wondering
if his father could help clarify them for me. Oh yea, I tell him, I'm so sorry
to hear about your mother, HOW LONG HAS SHE HAD ALZHEIMERS DISEASE? He started
to laugh and then he said "My mother doesn't have Alzheimers disease!"
"Really" I say, well thank you very much and have a nice day. Within
one hour the Ramsey Police have called my house and spoken to my mother stating
that they got a call from Dr. Purrizzo, and that he recommends that I be sent
to a mental institute immediately and put on heavy medication for the safety
of the community! My Mother reassures the Police that I am no threat to anyone
but I am just having a tough time right now.
This only confirms everything to me that something is going on and I am
not crazy. So I call a bluff and call Father Jack at home and leave on his
answering machine something like "I have a copy of the steroid trial
you lying sack of shit and you are on it as clear as day, I HOPE YOU HAVE
A GOOD LAWYER" and I hang up. The next day Father Jack calls my house
and speaks to my mother. I had told my mother what I was doing and just for
my sake could you "Please" just play along. Of course, when She answers
the phone, Father Jack informs her that he has contacted his lawyer and wants
to know what she knows about this "trial" and where is the tape?
What does my mother say? Nothing other then "there really is no tape.
Andy just isn't feeling well, he is just 'off his rocker'". Father Jack
then tells my mother that he doesn't like being threatened and that if I don't
shut up he is going to have the Police come me lock me away (this is the local
priest who interacts with all the children).
My mother is of course now frantic and I basically locked myself away in
the basement for the next month and didn't say a word to anyone especially
my mother about anymore of this, as she has already betrayed me once. But
think about it. If there never was any steroid trial, and the whole thing
is a figment of my imagination and it all never happened, then why would a
priest (if he is so innocent) contact his lawyer if there really could be
no possibility of there ever being a tape to begin with? I knew that I was
right, but the whole world is against me for some reasion and I had to find
out what the hell is going on. So I laid low for a while and tried to piece
together the scrap of memories which I had, as there was still no order.
December 25th 1997-
For the previous few weeks, I have been writing down
my thoughts to try and make some sense of it all. My thinking is that if I
organize some kind of "time line" I can organize my thoughts and
get a better picture. What you are reading is obviously the time line. Christmas
Eve and I have no friends to talk to and nowhere to go. This doesn't bother me
in the slightest in terms of depression because my memories are very slowly
starting to fall together and become clear. Pilar calls me Christmas eve and
we talk as she is in a similar situation.
We begin to talk about Aaron and
the strange things that I thought were going on at his apartment. Then Pilar
breaks in and tells me that her and my stories are identical and she just
never brought it up because she thought that she might have been imagining
things or some how going crazy herself. About how there was lost time at
Aaron's. How she remembers starring off into space and seeing me next to her
as Aaron was controlling both of us. This was a great piece of reassurance
and made a lot of other pieces fall into place as well as a number of other
memories come back.
The most important piece to fall into place and the one which had puzzled
me for the longest time was this: I knew as I was leaving Atlanta that they
weren't just going to let me go. They must be watching me somehow, but I couldn't
figure it out. How were they watching me? AND THEN IT CAME TO ME like a shiver
going through my soul. Here I was safe in the basement of my mother's house
where no one could get to me because I didn't go out at all. After talking
to me, I remembered that when I moved back to New Jersey from Atlanta, the
first thing I did was bring back the truck. When I brought it back my mother's
GERMAN friend Astrid was there to pick me up. The first thing she said to
me was "HOW DO YOU FEEL?" and I said "I feel fine" then
she said "AND THE CRAZIES IN YOUR HEAD?" and I said "What crazies
in my head?" Then she said "That's good". Then she said "ANDY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE BOOK MEIN KAMPF?" "Hitler's book?"
I say, I don't know I never read it! She said that's very good.
Hitler's Book "Mien Kampf" is one of the key words they use to
control me. Astrid is the controller who is in turn controlling my mother
to inform them of everything that I do. It all started rushing back to me.
My mother complaining of her trip to Germany to visit Astrid, and how she
seemed to be missing a few days and could not remember them. My grandmother
(on my mother's side) freaking out saying that she had walked in and Astrid
was controlling her in some way and my mother's response was "don't be
ridiculous, Astrid is my best friend!" I then remembered from way back
when I was a child (maybe 10 years I started freaking out calling Astrid a
NAZI at one of my parents dinner parties and of course my mother apologized
profusely. But I would not give up and I kept screaming "YOU MAY HAVE
THEM FOOLED BUT YOU HAVEN'T FOOLED ME. YOU'RE A NAZI, YOU NAZI, YOU NAZI!"
and I remember her just sitting there and smiling at me and I could tell that
she was saying to herself "you are one smart little shit". She
had also manipulated my father and has had a sexual relationship with him
over the years (I don't know the specific details to this at all). These are
all the basic control tactics that THEY use.
At this point, I remember going to Astrid's once before when I regained my
memory. I think it was between 1992 and 1994 but I really cannot be sure).
I followed my mother over to Astrid's and watched as the main hypnotists as
well as Mr. Green, and the man with the white hair being there and manipulating
my mother. As I tried to get a closer look they had a man patrolling outside
and I was seen and they chased me down, caught me and said the "Magic
word" and my memory was erased again. The key point here is that now
I know how they are watching me, and I know who my new controller is. It is
my own mother as they are manipulating her to keep tabs on me. I thought back
to what she knows and to what I have told her in regards to anything I am
doing with my government mind control experiment memories. She knows nothing
of any relevance as I have not said a word to her since the Dr. Purrizzo and
Father Jack incidents as well as the arguments we had back in October as to
what happened in my childhood and since she would just say "that never
happened" to no matter what I said. I just completely stopped talking
to her about it. I have, without even knowing it, been specifically giving
her disinformation and have been misleading her for months (this is a VERY
lucky break). Now that I know this, I am going to use it to my advantage.
And as a matter of fact now all the comments she would make as to what I was
doing, how she was very concerned as to what I am doing, everything now makes
more sense. But still I can only remember a fraction of what happened and
I am still trying to put it all together. But I have secluded myself from
everyone and now I know what to watch out for, My mother and Astrid.
January 17th 1998-
Using the internet I order some books dealing with government
mind control experiments and covert operations (as I still am thinking that
this is a government experiment because I keep on remembering being on Navy
ships for the assassinations and I keep seeing Mr. Green during the torture
experiments and the conditioning. At this point I still have no recollection
about the Illuminati or ANY idea about what the big picture really is). One
of the books I ordered was "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate:
The CIA and Mind Control" by John Marks. In the book he discusses the
MKULTRA programs and how LSD was discovered, then how the CIA Back in the
forties began experiments to find a "truth serum" to make spy's
talk. One of the first projects was with two Navy men and a man called "Weint"
(my father now has the book and I am not sure of the spelling of his name),
but he was the head of the Psychology department at the University of Rochester.
And he conducted his experiments on the students at Rochester in his secret
laboratory in the attic of the library at the University of Rochester. When
I read I literally fell off the couch as a flood of memories suddenly came
rushing back to me. THE SMALL LAB I MENTION EARLIER IS THE SECRET LAB IN THE
ATTIC OF THE LIBRARY! (and I have enclosed diagrams).
I remember this because
when they brought me up there the man with the white hair said to me "Rhino,
what do you think of this place? This is all for you!" and I said "It's
a f*cking dump" and he said "Well you have to give us some time
to fix it up, it hasn't been used in forty years." Then I remember the
beatings and the electric shock they did to me. I remember trying to escape
and once when I got lose and had kicked the crap out of all the lab guys I
tried to jump out of the only window. I opened the window and was half way
out when I realized that I was at the top of the library and it was at least
a hundred and fifty foot drop down to anything. At that point I knew I was
screwed and I also knew where I was from the view. I specifically remember
that! Then I remember going back with the FBI once to raid the lab and we
broke in and was in the process of seizing everything when someone very high
up in the FBI who was under the control of the Illuminati OR the NSA or whichever other government agency they used to control the situation (which I didn't
put together until later), ordered the complete halt of the raid and the whole
thing was covered up. And once again they erased my memory.
January 22ND 1998-
I am still writing and trying to piece all this together.
My mother is a woman who is a "Pack rat" if you will. She collects
and saves EVERYTHING especially pertaining to her son. As I am writing down
my thoughts to make sense of it all I go up stairs and go to the filling cabinet
to where my mother keeps everything. My folder is gone. Everything that pertained
to my past, my high school football clippings, my old report cards, the police
reports of when I got in trouble when I was a kid. These were the reports
I used to shove in my mothers face when we were having an argument two months
before when she was insisting that I was never a bad kid. It had all mysteriously
disappeared. My mother must have told Astrid when she "reports"
to her weekly as to what I am doing and Astrid must have told her to get rid
of the file, to get rid of anything that would "spark" any more
memories. So now my house has been erased of any memories of my past. I have
not said a word to my mother that I know that my folder is missing, but let
me tell you I was a serious shock to me as everything becomes reality. But
it only adds to the proof of my past. Still no memories of the Illuminati
or any other intervention with the FBI at this point.
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