Overcoming Psychotronic Torture: Deborah's Story
March 3, 2007
Here's the "condensed" (ha ha) version of my story. I hope your other readers will find it helpful, as I have found their stories helpful. My heart goes out to Moses and all the thousands of other people who are suffering with this Kafkaesque nightmare. Thank you so much for your help and your kind words of encouragement. Till next time, Deborah
My name is Deborah. I'm 36 years old and a student and server at a popular restaurant here in Tucson, Arizona. I've also been a victim of mind control experimentation ever since I was micro chipped in 1999 in Tampa, Florida, where I used to live while attending the University of South Florida. I want to tell my story not only to let people know that this is real but also to give anyone else who is also suffering some hope that they can help themselves. I think this web site alone gives us all hope ( and solutions).
In 1997, I was working two jobs while attending school. I was able to support myself and pay for school, while also keeping myself in shape and was doing pretty well. I always smoked pot, though, and began going out with friends and experimenting with Ecstasy and LSD. Thus began the downward spiral. I hung out at clubs and "Raves", late night parties where electronic music was played and the drugs were easy to get. I was too spaced out to notice just how evil the whole scene was and how vulnerable I actually was. I dated a guy who was really messed up on drugs and things ended badly. Unfortunately for me, his father worked for the CIA.
For about a year and a half, rumors and vicious gossip were spread about me. I felt like a pariah in that town, because I was apparently being gang stalked. Every place.1 lived, every job I worked at, and even every restaurant I went to seemed to be frequented by people who would harass me. I felt like the whole world was against me, I was ugly, stupid, and a whore. My self esteem dwindled down to nothing and I became anorexic. I was popping diet pills like they were candy and went into a deep depression.
I decided to quit waiting tables because it seemed that working in that environment just made me miserable, with customers making loud comments about me which I could say nothing about. I got a job as a receptionist at a spa but things did not get much better. They just followed me there. By this time, I was taking Xanax and GHB, a drug that was popular at the time, for extreme anxiety over my situation, which my then-boyfriend didn't understand and didn't take seriously. A guy had begun working there who had been cutting my hair on and off for about four years. I thought he was my friend, and confided in him. He just told me I was being paranoid. This guy also did a lot of drugs. Well, one day at work I took a little too much GHB and passed out ( GHB can cause people to go into a coma and/or die if too much is taken. The owners of the spa were not there, so I was put into one of the massage rooms where this guy raped and implanted me with a chip. When I woke up, I had no idea what had happened but my clothes were messed up, pants unbuttoned, and I was sweaty. Thus began eight years of hell.
I began to think something was really amiss when co-workers started making comments about microchips in people's heads and calling me a whore. I was raped and these sick people were laughing about it! I got really bad vibes about the place and went home in tears. Then that night, it seemed like my boyfriends friends were all in on it too! The snide comments and dirty looks made me feel even more isolated. For most nights thereafter, voices in my head, which were all people I knew, made fun of me, called me ugly names, threatened me and kept me awake all night. One of my boyfriends friends, who bought weed from him, came over one night with his girlfriend, who was a dancer. She began talking about the scum she danced for and how evil the "meth people" were. I was so freaked out and depressed at the time, and when she looked at me a tear came down her face. She knew what they were doing to me. I tried to talk to her in the bedroom but I was losing my mind and was pretty incoherent. She didn't tell me anything but looked really sad.
I quit that job and got one as a banquet server for a catering company, working with some old friends from another restaurant. These good people helped and supported me as much as they could, but I was fearing for my life and decided to break up with my boyfriend and move out to Arizona where my parents lived. Once I got here, I went to a crisis center because I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to die. They put me on Prozac and Risperdal and the voices went away. I thought I must really have been psychotic if the pills worked and thus became even more insecure about myself because of the stigma attached to mental illness. I gained weight and became bulimic and alcoholic. I also began dating another guy but never told him about anything because I thought nobody would love a person who was so dysfunctional, so I was living a lie. Every time I tried to go off the pills, their voices would come back, saying" why don't you tell Marty what the Risperdal is for?" and telling me I better start taking my pills again. I couldn't bear to hear their voices at all, so I kept taking the expensive pills, even though I was aware of the long-term side effects.
Marty had a daughter and a stepson living in Key West, Florida, and their mom was a Navy chief. She was due to do her last tour on the USS Eisenhower for two years and asked Marty to come take care of the kids while she was gone. If you've been in the military you know, it doesn't matter if you're a single mom, you have to go when they say go, so we moved to Key West. When I met this wonderfully strong woman, she warned me about Marty and how mean he could be, but I was in love, and didn't take it too seriously. I honestly thought he was my last chance because no one would want a crazy woman like me. Our first night there, he bought a gram of cocaine and I was hooked.
Now and then I would hear voices, regardless of the large dose of Risperdal I was taking, always calling me names and commenting on everything I did, but no gang stalking here. But that didn't matter, I was in my own private hell. When I made myself throw up my esophagus would bleed, then my nose would bleed from the coke, and then I would cry. My boyfriend was always late at work at the bar and we were always fighting. He was very verbally abusive, and when I got pregnant and was so sick that I wanted to go to the hospital, he threw me off the bed and yelled " get the fuck out of my life!". I landed on my tailbone and it broke. Needless to say, I had an abortion because I was so sick and he didn't want the baby anyway. Everything was always my . fault, and I actually believed it and put up with his abuse because I had no self respect. That was all due to the implant, the pills, and the drugs. We finally broke up and I moved back to Arizona.
Please forgive me if this story is long, but it spans 8 years, and there is so much to tell. Back in Arizona, I was left without a car or money, so I moved back home and worked at a local restaurant. I tried going off the pills again, and they began harassing me again, so I went back on the pills. I also began having bad back pain and muscle spasms, and got addicted to painkillers and muscle relaxants I was anything but healthy. I got fired from my job after coming in drunk and zoned out on Lorazepam [Ativan] from the night before. They wanted me out anyway, because the women that worked there didn't like me (I was the only white person, and did not speak Spanish) and said I had an "attitude". I worked other jobs, all while dealing with this back pain, and taking various pain pills for it. Eventually I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and given Nortryptilline, a tri cyclic antidepressant, for this supposed condition. I also began doing cocaine and methamphetamine, and associating with the people who would begin stalking me here.
This is where it gets really weird. While on meth, The voices started again, but this time the cast of characters changed, and the harassment became much more intense. I am well aware of the symptoms of schizophrenia and amphetamine psychosis, so don't write me off as crazy or think that the drugs caused the voices, because they didn't. It was the people who I did drugs with that became aware of the fact that I was micro chipped and began exploiting it. One person whom I knew in Tampa who was, involved initially moved out here after I did and it was his "friends" who began harassing me here. I had worked with this guy at a restaurant in Tampa in 1997 for a couple of weeks. He had just been in prison and was living in a halfway house at the time. We had become friends at work but he quit and returned to selling drugs and I never heard from him after that.
When I was implanted, he was involved with the people who did it but apparently regretted it later and continued to "watch" me for 5 years ( except for 2 years while he was in prison again in Arizona). I did not recognize him when we met again here because he had dyed his hair dark and had many new tattoos. This guy wore his demons on the outside, while mine were on the inside! I still do not know if he intentionally got them in on it or if he had a change of heart and was trying to help me, because he disappeared soon after he befriended me and the harassment got a lot worse thereafter. I do not know if he is dead or in prison, because I would not put anything past these people, but I pray for him every day.
I know some of them from having done drugs with them (I have been clean and sober for a year and a half, by the way) and these are people who get high day and night and never sleep. Some of them are homeless and move from couch to couch, some lose their kids to CPS and don't care if they never get them back. They get high while they are pregnant and couldn't care less about the health of the baby. And they hate me with a passion. These people are totally irrational and don't have much of a grip on reality. For the last three years, they have harassed me (as voices in my head) 2417! They are bitching at me from the time I wake up to the minute I fall asleep, and they give me bad dreams sometimes too. Twice, I've had dreams where my dog is killed .Sometimes, I would be paralyzed completely or felt like someone was holding me down. They have been the ones causing the muscle spasms and back pain, not Fibromyalgia, and they try to rape me as well. One night, I could feel myself being strangled, and then being punched and bitten on the hand!
When I began doing yoga a year ago, things changed, albeit very gradually. It seems that becoming more spiritual and healthy has weakened the implant somewhat. I no longer am in a lot of pain, I can barely feel it when they try to rape me. They can still make me itch, but I think I just don't let things get to me as much anYmore. After quitting the happy and crazy pills I can think much more clearly, and my intuition is getting better. I'm no longer insecure and have a lot more confidence. I'm happier than I've been in years, have a 4.0 GP A and have been working at the same job for the last 2 years, where I've steadily been making more money than ever. But I'm sick of having to listen to music or the TV constantly to distract me; I just want to sit outside and hear the birds sing, have some peace and quiet for once! These people are incredibly stupid and I'm tired of losing IQ points from listening to their idiotic bullshit! I never had a computer before I went back to school last year, so when I got one it took me a little while to find this web site. I kept searching under "microchips", looking for people who might help me, to no avail. I then started looking under "mind control" and there it was, educate-yourself.org, a light at the end of the tunnel!
If this experience has been a burden it has also been a catalyst for getting clean, growing up, and growing as a person. But I think these parasites no longer serve a purpose anymore; I did need to change, I can see my part in it, but now it's time to fight back. I will write you again to let you know how those orgone toys are working when I get them. I'm really excited about this!
Thank you, Ken, for your wonderful web site and to all the contributors who are helping us help ourselves. God bless you!
P.S. - Some tips to anyone who is going through tough times:
1. Don't lose your faith in God (as you understand him), faith keeps you strong. 2. Get a dog! I can't count how many times she's been there to put a smile on my face when nothing else could.
3. Don't drink or do drugs- they make you vulnerable to attack and depress you in the long run, if they don't completely ruin your life.
4. Read Don Croft's stories- he has a great sense of humor and is very positive. All that doom and gloom we keep getting bombarded with is overwhelming and offers no solutions to the problem.
- Bye for now!
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